z

Young Writers Society



Watcher (12)

by Night Mistress


The week passed by fast. Peter was getting used to the armies and the laws. Susan was setting up the staff of the castle. Lucy was tending to the wounded still left from the battle. And last, but not least, Edmund was setting up the castle guards to guard the castle and the town. Elvina helped everyone. She set up a spy team in the army, composed of talking birds and foxes.

She also helped Edmund choose the guards that were suited for the job. One day out of the week, they all sat down for lunch. Elvina let out a sigh.

“I’m tired. It’s been a busy week,” she said as she sipped her water from her glass.

“Yes, it has been a long week. Thank god, that the ball is a day after tomorrow,” Susan said as she munched on her sandwich. They finished lunch and went back to work until dinner. They all changed into more comfortable clothes, and Elvina also changed into a more comfortable gown. While she changed into her gown, there was a knock at the door.

“Just a minute,” she called. She put her clothes in the wardrobe in her room, and then she answered the door.

“Your majesty,” she said as she curtsied. “Did you need something?”

“I came to escort you to dinner,” Peter said as he offered his arm to her.

“Thank you,” elvina stated. She took his offered arm and closed the door. They both walked to dinner.

“You look lovely,” he said as he walked with her.

“Thank you,” she said as she blushed. He made them stop in the hallway.

“Peter?” she asked, confused. He caught her chin with his hand and tilted her face towards his, kissing her softly and sweetly. He then pulled away to where his forehead was resting against hers. He inhaled her sweet scent. It smelt like fresh pine and flowers.

“It’s been so long since I kissed you last,” he breathed as he looked into her eyes. She shivered at the way he looked at her and huddled closer to him.

“Peter, after dinner I need to speak with you,” she said. He let go of her face and nodded. They continued walking to dinner. When they arrived , they took their seats. Edmund came in with Lucy. They took their seats. Edmund sat next to Peter and Lucy sat next to Edmund. Susan came in last and sat in between Peter and Elvina.

They ate dinner and had dessert after that. Afterwards They all return to their room to retired for the night. Peter and Elvina walked to Peter’s study. When they entered the study, Peter shut the door.

“Now, what did you want to speak to me about?” Peter asked Elvina.

“My king, I have come to tell you that after the ball, I’ll be leaving,” Elvina said. She didn’t look at him. It hurt Peter when she said that and didn’t look at him.

“Why?” he asked.

“Because Aslan has asked me to continue watching this land,” Elvina stated.

Peter went to her and cupped her face in face in his hands and turned her face towards his face.

“What about us?” Peter asked.

“I’ll return to when we can begin a true relationship, to when, if you want, to be your wife and queen,” she said as she put her hands on his cheeks.

“Alright,” he sighed. “I won’t pretend to have rights over your freedom.”

“Thank you,” she said as she pulled away her hands.

“May I still escort you to the ball tomorrow night?” he asked hopefully.

“You may,” she stated. He smiled and hugged her then pulled away.

“I’m going to retire for the night. Good dreams, my king,” she said as she left the study.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

In the morning, Susan was put in charge of decorating for the ball. In the middle of the day, a party arrived at the castle.

“Peter, the King of Archenland is here,” Edmund said as they walked around the training grounds to the entrance of the castle. A man and a woman stepped out of the carriage. Peter and the siblings stood side by side.

“Welcome to Narnia, Your Majesty King Lune,” Peter said as he bowed to them. The others followed suit.

“It is a pleasure to be here, King Peter,” King Lune said. “May I introduce my wife, Queen Lily.” He gestured to the lady behind him.

“Tis a pleasure to meet the new Kings and Queens of Narnia,” Queen Lily said as she curtsied and looked at the others.

“It’s strange to have more than one King and Queen,” she said.

“It is, Queen Lily, but it's Aslan’s will,” Elvina said as she appeared by Edmund. King Lune and Queen Lily looked at her.

“Who are you? I do say that you look familiar to me,” King Lune said.

“Forgive me, King Lune, but I don’t believe we have met before. I am here on Aslan’s behalf to see if things are well between Archenland and Narnia,” Elvina lied. It may not be truthful, but it’s believable, she thought.

“Aslan?” King Lune questioned. His eyes widened with realization. “You are the watcher!”

“I am, your majesty, now excuse me, I have to finish the decorating for the ball,” Elvina said as she turned and walked away. She walked to the great hall, which was deck in red and gold.

“How does everything look, watcher?” a faun asked as he came up to her.

“It’s wonderful,” she whispered. “Let’s finish it and rest up for the ball.”

They finished up in the great hall, then return to their rooms to rest for the ball.

Later on in the night, the ball started. Peter arrived at Elvina’s door. He was nervous for some odd reason. He knocked on the door.

“Just a minute,” the voice said from the other side. The door opened a few moments later. Elvina was in a dark green dress trimmed with sliver and with a sweeping skirt. She wore her hair down with the sides pull up to the back with sliver ribbons and flowers.

For makeup, she had a little bit of sliver eye shadow and a pink blush upon her cheeks. As for jewelry, she wore teardrop pearl earrings and matching necklace with a green ribbon. At last, but not least, the shoes, which peeked out from the bottom of the dress, were dark green flats.

She looks like a vision, Peter thought. He stepped close to her and kissed her long and sweetly. She moved her hands up around his neck. He wrapped his arms around her waist. He pulls away and nuzzled her neck. She blushed at what he was doing. “Now that blush looks real,” he whispered against her neck.

“Peter,” she moaned. He pulled away quickly and grinned slyly. “Well, milady, shall we get going?” he asked as he offered his arm. She slapped him on the arm.

“You did that on purpose,” she said.

“Why of course my lady. I won’t be able to do it while you are gone,” he said. She sighed and took his arm and they went to the great hall and join the others.

They danced and ate, enjoying their time together. Peter and Elvina danced with each other. Later, when Peter and Elvina were talking with King Lune and Queen Lily, Susan pulled Elvina away from the little group.

“Elvina, do you think you could sing for everyone?” Susan asked.

“Of course,” Elvina answered. The both moved to the dais. “Listen up, everyone. Tonight, we have a special treat,” Susan announced. Everyone paid attention.

“Lady Elvina will sing for us,” Queen Susan announced. Susan put her hands on Elvina’s shoulders. Elvina looked at Susan and she nodded. She turned back to the crowd. She opened her month and the words came.

I will watch you in the darkness

Show your love will see you through

When the bad dreams wake you crying

I'll show you all love can do

All love can do

I will watch through the night

Hold you in my arms

Give you dreams where no one will be

I will watch through the dark

Till the morning comes

For the light will take you

Through the night to see

Our light, showing us all love can be

I will guard you with my bright wings

Stay till your heart learns to see

All love can be

The words floated softly around the room, then disappear. Everyone clapped for her. Elvina curtsied. Then she walked down the stair to the High King of Narnia.

“I wish to retire, my king,” she said.

“Really? Well, then allow me to escort you back to your room,” Peter stated.

“No. Stay with guests, my king,” she said as she started to walk. She tried to get the courtyard before Peter caught up to her.

“You’re leaving,” he stated.

“I am, but first I’m going to change,” she said as she turned around. Peter walked up to her and kissed her. He pulled back slightly.

“Don’t leave me,” he whispered.

“Peter, I’ll be back. People think of me as a servant, Peter. And if I stay, it will ruin your reputation. Beside, my absence may make you love me more,” she said as she cupped his cheek. “ And it help me discover my love for you.”

Peter looked at her, and then put his head on her shoulder.

“All right, but let me see you off,” he said as he buried his face deeper in her shoulder.

“Alright, Peter,” she said. He lifted his head off her shoulder and they walked to her room. Peter told her that he would saddle Balan. He did that while she changed into a tunic, riding pants, and riding boots. They met in front of the castle. Peter held Balan for her as she got on.

“Take good care of her,” he whispered to Balan.

“I will,” Balan replied, "has been my job for many years now." Peter turn his attention to Elvina and took hold of her hand.

“Write me,” Peter said as he kissed her callous fingertips.

“I will if I can. Stay out of trouble,” she said, smiling.

“Come back unharmed, love,” he said as he kissed her hand and let go.

“See you in three years,” Elvina said as she kicked Balan into a gallop.

Peter watched as she disappeared into the night, wishing that she would change her mind and come back to him.

an: the song isn't mine. All Love can be belong to Charlotte Chruch and her mangers


Note: You are not logged in, but you can still leave a comment or review. Before it shows up, a moderator will need to approve your comment (this is only a safeguard against spambots). Leave your email if you would like to be notified when your message is approved.






You can earn up to 294 points for reviewing this work. The amount of points you earn is based on the length of the review. To ensure you receive the maximum possible points, please spend time writing your review.

Is this a review?


  

Comments



User avatar
250 Reviews


Points: 1040
Reviews: 250

Donate

User avatar
250 Reviews


Points: 1040
Reviews: 250

Donate
Thu Jul 26, 2007 6:33 pm
Night Mistress says...



i still have one more chapter to put up before this story is complete.

and i did have a birthday in June, My 17th Birthday.




User avatar
84 Reviews


Points: 890
Reviews: 84

Donate
Thu Jul 26, 2007 6:33 pm
Lady Pirate says...



This is very good, I never saw Romance in the tCoN before. Good Job!




User avatar
1176 Reviews


Points: 1979
Reviews: 1176

Donate
Thu Jul 26, 2007 6:30 pm
Twit wrote a review...



*sigh* Romance. Nothing wrong with it in itself, but it does manage to drag its way into everything. :roll:

Anyway, good, and with only a few errors. :D Have you had a birthday since you were on here last? Very late Happy Birthday!


NM wrote:One day, they all sat down for lunch.


This makes it sound like this is the first time they've sat down to lunch since they started. :roll: I know it isn't, but you might want to reword that.


NM wrote:"Thank god, that the ball is a day after tomorrow,”


Nix this comma.

that the ball is the day after tomorrow sounds better.


NM wrote:The kings and queens changed into more comfortable clothes, and Elvina also changed into a more comfortable gown.


Put this together so you get something like They all changed into more comfortable clothes.


NM wrote:“Thank you,” elvina stated.


Capital letter. And stated feels wrong. Perhaps, simply said, or replied.


NM wrote:He then pulled away to where his forehead was resting against hers.


Um, this is confusing.


NM wrote:Edmund came in with Lucy. They took their seats. Edmund sat next to Peter and Lucy sat next to Edmund. Susan came in last and sat in between Peter and Elvina.

They ate dinner and had dessert after that.


We don't need to know all this, it isn't necessary.


NM wrote:Afterwards, They all return to their room to retired for the night.


Comma after afterwards, and small letter on they.


NM wrote:Afterwards They all return to their room to retired for the night.


Room = rooms.

Retired = retire.


NM wrote:“It is, Queen Lily, but its Aslan’s will,” Elvina said as she appeared by Edmund.


Its = it's


NM wrote:Elvina was in a dark green dress trimmed with sliver and with a sweep skirt.


Sweep = sweeping?


NM wrote:For makeup, she had a little bit of sliver eye shadow and a pink blush upon her cheeks.


Sliver = silver


NM wrote:“No. Stay with your? guests, my king,”


Missed word. Your guests, is it?


NM wrote:Peter looked at her, and then put his head on her shoulder.

“All right, but let me see you off,” he said as he buried his face in her shoulder.


Repetition. Have Peter do something else the second time.


That aside; good! Elvina's going to be gone for THREE YEARS?? Man, that's a long time for Peter to wait. Will they still be in Narnia, I wonder?





Go and make interesting mistakes, make amazing mistakes, make glorious and fantastic mistakes. Break rules. Leave the world more interesting for your being here.
— Neil Gaiman